• Congress Voting Independence

    Independence

    National Historical Park Pennsylvania

Onward

July 23, 2013 Posted by: Anthony

Onward

Keep marching.
Your boots must be dirty.
Keep your head up.
If your laces come undone,
march until you fall.
Knot them twice and get up.

Keep marching.
Your body must be tired.
Keep your head up.
If you give up now,
they will step on you.
Step forward and get tough.

Keep marching.
Your spirit must be broken.
Keep your head up.
If you regret marching,
tough s@*#.
You’ve come too far to let up

 


11 Comments Comments Icon

  1. Betty - Wyncote, PA
    July 25, 2013 at 09:01

    This is a great inspirational poem. You should be proud of this!

  2. Hayley - Philadelphia, PA
    July 25, 2013 at 12:28

    I liked the use of the second person and the repetition of some of the lines - it created a nice rhythm.

  3. Jose - Philadelphia, Pa.
    July 25, 2013 at 12:21

    Great advice. Life has it's ups and downs but don't let them tear you down.

  4. Steve - Philly
    July 25, 2013 at 12:21

    I worry about this soldier. Why must his spirit be broken? And I , too worry about this speaker (this drill, sargeant): what compels him to drive these people, like animals? A provocative poem.

  5. Susan - Philadelphia, PA
    July 25, 2013 at 12:21

    I really felt the stubborness of persevering in your piece, as well as how hard and how long persevering often has to be--It really spoke to me in that I entered into the mindset of the poem and reconnected to those times in my own life.

  6. Aileen - Philadelphia, PA
    July 25, 2013 at 12:16

    Nice job with the repetition of "Keep marching", much like marching is--repetition. Are there other areas of the poem you could play around with to make it sound more like marching throughout?

  7. Judith - Philadelphia, PA
    July 25, 2013 at 12:14

    I think your poem is extremely powerful! I also love the repetition of "keep marching". I also like the line "knot them twice and get up". I think this line gives a vivid detail. I am imagining a soldier getting up to tie his boots. Thank you!

  8. amicum - Philadelphia, PA
    July 25, 2013 at 06:48

    Keep writing strong spirit!

  9. john - seneca falls, ny
    July 24, 2013 at 08:32

    Anthony: Written like a drill instructor! Good work here! What is the goal that the person is marching towards in the poem?

  10. MRS. E - FALLS, PENNSYLVANIA
    July 24, 2013 at 08:00

    Keep marching, keep learning, keep loving, keep giving and you will have no problem keeping your head held high. I enjoyed reading your poem.

  11. Bethany - Philadelphia, PA
    July 23, 2013 at 06:25

    I like the repetition of 'keep marching', the line 'keep your head up", and the way you use the framework to emphasize the second-to-last line. Who is this voice insisting that the reader keep marching, and who is the reader who has come to far to let up?

 

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