Past and Present Jewel Cave Explorers | Latest Camp/Exploration Trip Notes | Camp Trip Archives |
Why explore Jewel Cave?
The essential work of exploring Jewel Cave is not just idle curiosity. Exploration, conducted by dedicated cavers, is arduous work which provides important information required for cave resource management. Jewel Cave can be more easily protected from activities which occur on the surface if the total extent of the cave is known.
How Far does the cave extend?
Jewel Cave exists under about three square miles of surface area. The monument boundaries encompass approximately two of these square miles. More than 40% of the known cave exists outside the Monument boundaries, under the Black Hills National Forest.
How long is the cave?
At 133.01 miles in length, Jewel Cave is known as the third longest cave in the world, and the second longest cave in the Unites States. Airflow indicates there is a lot of cave yet to be discovered.
How high (and low) is the cave?
The elevational range within the cave spans 631 feet. The highest elevation is 5406 feet above sea level, the lowest elevation is 4775 feet.
What is the depth of the cave?
The depth of the cave varies a great deal. At the historic area, visitors enter the cave at the surface. To reach the cave from the visitor center a descent of 234 feet by elevator is required. The deepest point in the cave is 749.33 feet below the surface.
Where is the cave going?
Airflow within the cave is the single best indicator that large areas of the cave have yet to be discovered. Recent exploration trips have focused on the southeastern area of the cave, where many airflow leads exist. It is a long commute. Travel to the work area can take more than 6 hours. Exploration trips often encompass 18-20 hours, most of this is travel time. Camping trips in the cave last 4 days but the commute time is longer because of heavy camp packs. It takes 7 hours to reach camp.
Surveying Techniques
A group of 3 or 4 cavers enters an area of the cave that has leads to explore. A survey station is established that can be seen from a previous station. A mark is placed on the floor or wall using a combination of letters and numbers. The direction of the survey is determined using a compass and vertical angles between survey stations are determined using a clinometer. A tape measure is used to determine the distance from one survey point to another. Passage height and width are also estimated at each station. All of this information is recorded in a survey book, along with a comprehensive inventory and description of speleothems (cave formations).
Explorers
Cavers interested in exploring within Jewel Cave must meet some requirements. They must be of limited girth, they must fit through 7-1/2 inch high passageways and have strength and stamina required for a 20 hour caving trip. Explorers provide their own equipment which includes: helmet, headlight, pack, boots, knee pads, elbow pads and gloves. Everyone carries their own high energy non-messy foods and water. Everything that is taken into the cave must be taken out, cavers also carry containers for removal of human waste.
Most importantly, cavers must bring respect for the cave, and a strong personal philosophy of cave stewardship. Cavers have the potential to damage irrevocable the beauty and the pristine quality of the cave. It is imperative that everyone entering the cave remain on established routes and trails whenever possible and avoid formations, some of which are extremely delicate. Exploration can only be allowed if cavers continue to conserve the resource while they push forward into unknown areas of the cave.
Past and Present Jewel Cave Explorers
Dwight Deal
In 1959, Dwight Deal, a graduate student from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in New York, came to the Black Hills. Fresh out of college, Dwight had taken a job with an oil company in nearby Wyoming. He was an active member of the National Speleological Society, and had plenty of both enthusiasm and scientific knowledge to fuel his desire to explore caves.
Dwight's job allowed him weekends free to devote to cave exploration, and he had become aware of Jewel Cave through a group of cavers from Colorado who had been surveying nearby Wind Cave. He joined them one weekend for a special trip into Jewel Cave, then approached the National Park Service about getting permission to continue surveying there. He was granted a Special Use Permit, but was told that in order to use it in Jewel, he would have to have at least two other people go with him. Dwight had become acquainted with Herb and Jan Conn when they were all still in the east, and knew they were now in the Hills. He persuaded the Conns to join him.
On the first few trips, Dwight instructed Herb and Jan in the art of surveying the cave while exploring its passageways. By the spring of 1961, Dwight had moved away from the Black Hills, but not before over 5 miles (8 km) of cave had been mapped. He returned in the summer of 1961 to work on a master's thesis on the geology of Jewel Cave for the University of Wyoming.
In May of 1962, Dwight Deal did an inspection tour of the proposed new cave tour route. It was a 4-hour trip to the "Formation Room", but he was so impressed by the beauty of the dripstone deposits on top of the crystals that he recommended in writing to the park superintendent that an effort be made to provide public access to this area. His efforts are rewarded with each tour group that enters that room on the Scenic Tour and gasps in delight at this impressive stop on the route.
Herb & Jan Conn
At the historic entrance
Herb and Jan Conn began a lifelong connection to the Black Hills of South
Dakota in 1946. Both were born and raised on the East Coast, and during
WWII, Herb worked as an electrical engineer for the Navy Department in
Washington, DC Although this adventurous young couple had first been exposed
to cave exploration in West Virginia, their real love at that time was
rock climbing, a hobby they had developed on the cliffs of the Potomac.
In 1946 they decided to leave the Washington, DC area and head west to
practice rock-climbing full time.
Over the next few years the Conns traveled extensively, working wherever and whenever they needed to to support their climbing. They worked in resorts, factories, for a furniture manufacturer, and for a venetian blind company. They originally planned to settle in Colorado, where they knew the mountain climbing opportunities were abundant. But 1949 found them in the Black Hills of South Dakota, where they were convinced that western South Dakota’s great weather would give them an opportunity to spend more days mountain climbing. So they bought 20 acres of land four miles from Custer and settled in. One of Jan's earliest significant climbing feats in this area was her accomplishment of being the first woman to free-climb Devils Tower.
In 1959, geologist and caver Dwight Deal had done some exploration in a small, but pretty cave called Jewel. He needed some companions who might help him continue his exploration trips there and turned to his friends, Herb and Jan. He asked if they would be interested in grubbing around underground and, after thinking it over, they replied they would try it "once". That one trip turned into a passion of exploring Jewel Cave that lasted for over 20 years.
What actually seduced the Conns into continuing their caving trips in Jewel Cave was the challenge of surveying: measuring and sketching the convoluted passageways of this twisting, turning cave captured and held their attention. From 1959 to 1979, Herb and Jan mapped 62.36 miles of the interior of Jewel Cave.
The Conns discovered what is now the Scenic Cave Tour route in 1961. The National Park Service was intrigued by their reports of high, narrow passageways, huge rooms and unusual speleothems (cave decorations). The Conns suggested that the part of the cave they had been surveying might prove perfect for development of a new tour route. In addition to assisting with the construction of this trail, Herb also designed the lighting system and dramatic placement of lights still in use today. The cave winds that enticed the explorers further into the cave fascinated Herb, and in 1966 he produced an important scientific report explaining reasons for these barometric winds. The Conn's book, "The Jewel Cave Adventure" serves not only as a record of their years of cave exploration here, but as an exciting tale of adventure even for the non-cavers.
As for their public service in the development of a great national monument, they are inclined to shrug that off, too. "If people do what they really want to do, "says Jan, "then they will eventually contribute something to the world."
Current Cave Explorers
.jpg)
While Herb and Jan Conn were still actively exploring and mapping Jewel Cave in the late 1970s, a graduate student from South Dakota School of Mines and Technology, Mike Wiles began accompanying them on caving trips. In 1979, Mike began a career with the National Park Service, first as a Volunteer-in-Parks, then as a seasonal park ranger. In 1980, he began an apprenticeship of sorts with the Conns. This sharpened his caving skills, heightened his awareness of cave ecology, and introduced him to the world of underground surveying and mapping. By mid-1981, the Conns had effectively retired from exploring Jewel Cave, leaving Mike to take the lead in ensuring continuing exploration.
Over the years, Mike has organized exploration, survey and mapping of Jewel Cave by teams of interested and qualified cavers from throughout the U.S. Today, as Cave Management Specialist at Jewel Cave, Mike is responsible for compiling all the information gleaned from caving trips into an effective management plan.
Exploration of Jewel Cave is allowed by permit only, and then, only for purposes of survey and mapping, scientific study/monitoring, restoration of disturbed areas in the cave, or for other projects specified by the National Park Service in order to effectively manage this immense underground resource. It is imperative for the continued protection of Jewel Cave that we continue to learn where it is in relation to surface features. Inventory and monitoring of geological, hydrological, and biological features found throughout the cave allow park managers to better track changes and relationships with surface activities.
Each team of cavers is small, to mitigate any impact that they might have on delicate cave features or untrammeled passageways. Ethical caving is required, with safety of cavers and protection of the resource paramount.
The physical and mental challenges provided by cave exploration address a deep-seated human desire to venture beyond the known into the frontier. But most importantly, the information provided by continuing exploration helps us understand the complex interrelationships in this relatively remote part of the natural world.
.jpg)
-.jpg)
Home
Sweet Home: An Overnight in Jewel Cave
Peggy Renwick
Sunday,
September 19, 2004 - 12:00 noon:
I should probably get up and start my day. “So you’re going
in on Monday?” my cousin said on the phone last night, “I guess
that means you’ve got about twelve hours of light left, eh?”
...And here I’ve already slept away half the day. Plus, it’s
time for me to start thinking about exciting things like packing, patching
my clothes, hydrating and carbo-loading – I have to get ready for
my first camp trip in Jewel Cave! This would be a “work trip;”
as the Cave Management Intern at Jewel, I get to go caving on the job,
and since July I’d been building up to this trip. First we did a
trip through the Miseries and back, and then we went almost to Cloud Nine
to repair a ladder. Last week, six of us had gone on a 16-hour day trip
out to Seventh Heaven, hauling new sleeping bags towards base camp near
the Big Duh. It was high time to switch the bags; the old ones had been
there for seven years! All of my previous
trips – all work trips – were to various rest stops along the
route to camp, and now I was going to take the plunge and go all the way.
I spent Sunday afternoon calculating just how small I could make my pack.
Usually I overpack for any trip, but this time I knew exactly what I needed,
and I’d caught the bug for super-tiny, lightweight gear. Silk long
underwear, food, batteries, water, empty pee bottles, and a few odds and
ends especially for camping: I wanted no extra weight with me while belly-crawling
through the Miseries. I worried that my arms would get tired from rolling
the pack. I wondered what it would be like to cave for two days straight.
I hoped I wouldn’t
get cold at night, and that I wouldn’t have to use my burrito bag,
and that my slightly-expired freeze-dried dinner wouldn’t have any
adverse digestive effects. I’d been on long cave trips before, but
a camp trip held new dimensions I hadn’t ever
contemplated.
Monday,
September 20 - 8:03 a.m.:
When I arrive in the basement of the Visitor Center, our trip leader Mike
Wiles is already dressed, gathering and packing final items. Before long
Rene Ohms arrives, and we each take two packets of desiccant, which we’ll
pack with the sleeping
bags to absorb moisture as they sit at camp. Then the final two team members
arrive: Jason Walz and Seth Spoelman are Cave and Karst Inventory folks
from Wind Cave National Park. They were on last week’s Seventh Heaven
trip, and like me, have
never been to base camp. We all start joking and laughing, comparing gear
and squishing stuff into our packs. Jason and Seth willingly take three
packs of dessicant each, not knowing that they’re picking up our
slack. They each pick out a freezedried meal, sniffing them for mold.
We endlessly take turns in the bathroom, since we want to carry out as
little waste as possible (and it all has to come back out). By 9:00 we’re
all ready, and I’m in my caving “uniform”: camouflage cargo
pants, webbing belt, t-shirt, heavy-duty kneepads, elbow pads, bandanna
and helmet with two bright LED lights. It’s only 49 degrees in the
cave, but I’ll be toasty warm. The five of us step into the elevator,
and 30 seconds later we’re in the cool openness of the Target Room,
where cave tours begin. Here I don an extra pair of socks and a pair of
rubber boots, which I swear by because they help me climb like a monkey.
We’ve got to leave our street shoes waiting for us, to avoid tracking
the elevator and basement with manganese. Manganese, along with the calcite
spar crystals that line the walls, is a signature item in Jewel Cave:
a mineral deposit that
coats everything, its consistency is that of mud mixed with dirty motor
oil.
“This is crazy,” mutters Jason as we slip off the Target Room
platform, backwards along the cave’s Spelunking Tour route. At last,
our camp trip is beginning! We walk and scramble east towards Hurricane
Corner, past the hydromagnesite balloons and through the Teleportation
Machine – named by explorers Herb and Jan Conn, this passage has
an identical twin on the far side of the Miseries. If only we knew which
crystal made the machine operate! As I boost myself up into the climbs
near
Hurricane Corner, I feel an unexpected twinge of pain – great, I’ve
pulled an abdominal muscle already. I do my best to ignore it as we leave
the part of the cave seen by visitors, crawling into the Pool Room, climbing
down the squeaky ladder in the Cloudy Sky Room and into the AA survey,
which continues for over 230 stations, through the Miseries and beyond.
The Miseries are the only known route to the eastern end of Jewel Cave,
and they go for over 2000 feet, only to be followed by 700 feet of bellycrawling
through the Mini-Miseries. Without ceremony we shove ourselves into the
Dugway, and then through the Ugh-Way. We slip through a
squeeze that we’ve named the Flailing J (for Jason), slide through
the Humdinger, and begin to crawl. Then come three small pits to climb
and cross, and more crawling. Most of the Miseries are hands-and-knees,
but let’s be realistic – I spend a
lot of time dragging myself on one side, already cursing my pack as it
blocks the passage ahead. Finally we’re to the Calorie Counter: the
start of the Mini-Miseries! This is a body-length, 7.5” squeeze through
hard mud. Then belly crawling, some stalactites (if you turn your head
to the left on the way in), an even tighter pinch, more belly crawling,
stalactites, a bit of flowstone to avoid, and finally the Funny Little
Hole, an angular yet circular tube. It could be worse, I remind myself
– imagine if this were a stream passage! On the far side of the Funny
Little Hole things open up a bit, and I return to my hands and knees.
Before long we’re climbing and chimneying again – down through
tight holes, and then hiking up, up, up a breakdown slope into the chilly
grandeur of Metrecal Cavern. We rest happily; it’s already after
11:00, but the worst is over – and we don’t have to confront
it again until tomorrow! Once we’ve devoured energy bars, rehydrated
and adjusted knee and elbow pads, we set off again…down down down
the far side of Metrecal, through crawls and climbs to the slipperyness
of the Slickensides Room and the Wrong Number Room, on our way to the
Mindblower. I concentrate on keeping
my feet on the trail, practically ignoring the immense spaces we’re
traversing.
Normally, you see, my trip reports are much livelier than this one. I
recall snippets of conversations, the songs we sing, and some sort of
a theme runs throughout the trip. But this one is simply too long for
all that: it’s five miles one way to camp, and the obstacles we encounter
are too many to enumerate. Even where a passage (like the Mindblower)
is straight or a room is big, cavers work hard. We are constantly climbing,
chimneying, boulder-hopping, stretching. Often the trail, slick with manganese,
leads atop the spine of a breakdown block or along a sloping wall. Flagging
tape marks the way, and it’s best to go fast; if you slow down you
begin to think about what you and your body are doing, which can be startling
at best. Our second rest stop is among the breakdown at the eastern end
of the Mindblower. Here, Mike takes a few pictures with one of our lovely
new digital cameras, and then we’re off again. The next section is
the shortest on our route and can take
less than an hour, but it’s full of fun obstacles: the Clothesline’s
hand line is anchored to a pile of loose rocks, and the Slim Chance is
the tightest
point on our route (the trick is finding the one spot where your helmet
fits, and then your body can follow). Jason does not like the Slim Chance.
Much of this part is in lovely, lofty passages with elegant domed ceilings,
bits of sparkling gypsum,
relatively little calcite spar or manganese, and beautiful delicate rims
at every twist of the trail. Soon, however, things become cherty and chunky
again, and we slide down the A-L climb, and down again to the Stopper.
This is a small hole lined with a shaky matrix of mud and rock; we edge
along a pit, through the hole, and slither up a
muddy chute. At the top, the sketchiness continues on the Slicken Slide
ladder. We chimney up slippery walls without footholds to reach the ladder,
while those below stand back to avoid rockfall. One more rush of adrenaline
separates us from our
next rest stop: the Point of No Return. This is a celebrated spot, where
explorers threw caution to the wind by chancing a tricky climb, beckoned
by the huge, 60-foot-high passage beyond. Now this spot is rigged with
a ladder, but getting on to it requires a bit of aerial acrobatics. Rene,
Seth and I all descend, but Mike and Jason stay above to try to re-rig
the ladder and make it less death-defying. Down below, we saunter up to
the Bar: a large, waist-high rock lined with cubies (quart-sized col-
lapsible jugs). We empty our packs, gather the cubies, and follow a blue-dotted
trail to Side Track Tap. Here is a rare sight in Jewel Cave: WATER! Several
drips run down a wall of flowstone, and near the ceiling a tarp catches
them, funneling water
down a hose and into a five-gallon jug. We fill about fifteen cubies and
head back to re-stock the Bar. After a lengthy rest stop we get bored
with waiting, and go back to await Mike and Jason beneath the ladder.
Here, our conversation goes on a twisted bent, as bodily functions and
funky puns take over. We sing about 99 bottles of beer on the wall, but
replace the beer with other liquids. Finally Mike and Jason give up on
the ladder, descend, and we can continue into Cloud Nine. This is the
second-biggest room in the cave. Here, we follow a trail of slippery red
mud across white
breakdown blocks. The cave stays big for a while: we edge along wide pits,
and the average passage size is perhaps 20 feet high by 30 feet wide.
In some places the trail crosses a sea of dusty manganese, and rocks are
laid along it as stepping stones.
We go into the Loose End, decorated with pinktinged calcite spar, and
then into the Two-Step. Here, brilliant white aragonite frostwork coats
every surface, and there are footprints where we must step to minimize
the trail. At the Three-Step, one person balances in the footprints to
pass packs so that cavers don’t scrape the sparkling ceiling or walls.
Finally we hit the Conundrum – an incomprehensible scramble through
spar-coated breakdown, which rips at my pants and seems to go on forever.
Upon emerging from it, we’re in Seventh Heaven! Another large chamber,
Seventh Heaven’s most notable feature are the dried calcite rafts
sprinkled everywhere. They tinkle underfoot and crunch like dry leaves
when disturbed, snowy white against
the tan rock. This was our stopping point on the previous trip, and our
sleeping bags await us here. Sadly it is only 6 p.m., and we can’t
crawl into them here – but these extra packs weigh only a few pounds,
and there are no squeezes left before camp.
Off we go, into cave I’ve never seen before! The trail is flanked
on both sides with flagging tape as we tiptoe through the calcite rafts,
which resemble either snow or dried mashed potato flakes, depending on
how hungry or sweaty you are. Next
comes the Land of Milk and Honey, where a vanilla- colored river of flowstone
crisscrosses the trail. It’s as if the water that formed it was frozen,
but could melt and flow again. In some places black stones choke the river,
and it reminds me of
melted cookies and cream ice cream. Oh, yum! What a fantasy land! We hike
on through the easy Volksmarch, and then our progress is put into sharp
perspective by the Reality Check. This section reminds us what Jewel Cave
is really like – ridden with crawls, twists and turns and climbs,
and sharp crystals that jab my back.
Since this leg of the trip is the last before camp it’s longer than
the others, and as we emerge into the big ups and downs of the XO Survey
I can feel my energy wearing down. I’m too tired to backtrack when
Rene points to an enormous nest of gypsum
needles. I pull myself up the wide chimney at the Stupid Flower Climb,
and plod on – climb, scramble, up, up, up through large breakdown
– until I hear exclamations from Jason and Seth above me. Camp, here
I come! With a deep breath, I haul
myself up the last few feet, and a welcome sight greets my eyes. Jewel
Cave’s base camp consists of a huge, almost flat slab of breakdown,
and overflows onto the
surrounding rocks. The main slab is covered with tarps, and easily sleeps
six people and their gear. Several jugs of water await us, filled on the
last trip, and a knee-height section of rock is lined with kitchen supplies
(pots, alcohol stoves, and a fire
extinguisher). Laminated signs greet us: “Home Sweet Home.”
Camp is very cozy: the solid ceiling is a “normal” height, perhaps
15 feet, and I feel like I’m nestled up high in an attic or castle,
tucked away in a safe space. The walls sparkle with flecks of gypsum.
As I dump my pack, chaos erupts. For some reason we have a very hard time
figuring out which new sleeping bag should replace which old one (they’re
all numbered), which two Thermarests are kaput, and how to pack the old
ones. Organization is minimal (I think we’re tired). I go off to
pee, then stand around for a while asking the others what I should do.
Eventually I get my “own” sleeping bag replaced, set up my spot,
and then take some pictures of the whole scene.
The next step is getting out of our dirty cave clothes. We change into
warmer things – silk underwear for me! – and clean up with alcohol
wipes. I creep into my sleeping bag and wait for water to boil. In the
meantime, Rene and Mike play with the laptop that lives at camp: used
for plotting survey data on four-day exploration trips, it’s ruggedized
and waterproof. There are a bunch of fun gadgets at camp! Soon we dig
into our freeze-dried meals (slightly expired, but provided by the park)
– mmm, stroganoff with turkey. Cleanup is minimal, we’re all
already tucked into our sleeping bags, and by 10 p.m. it’s time for
lights-out. I start to drift off immediately, to my exhausted pleasure.
In the morning we pack up camp, and then climb up and up, spiraling through
the breakdown until, much to my surprise, we pop out a small hole in the
side of a hill! Jewel Cave has a second entrance?! How come I didn’t
know about this? I’m glad to be out, but disappointed that after
coming all that way, I wasn’t that far into the “wilderness”
after all. But then I learn that there’s another Visitor Center nearby
– and we can all go eat there, and use the bathroom! Hooray! The
(silly) downside is that we can’t go home above ground; we’ll
have to go back through the cave. Ah well. …But then I wake up, for
real. The saddest part is not that we’re still five miles from the
entrance, but that I don’t get to use the bathroom. Sigh…back
to a chilly sleep I go. I toss and turn, telling myself not to look at
my watch, because it won’t make the time pass any faster.
Tuesday, September 22 - 7:30 a.m.:
When Mike’s alarm goes off, I wait for someone to switch on a light.
Thankfully no one does, and we don’t move until about 8 a.m. Then
Mike gets up to light the stoves, and we pull out Ziplock bags of instant
oatmeal. Yum, a hot breakfast! Afterwards I brush my teeth, spitting into
the empty oatmeal bag, and begin to pack from inside my sleeping bag.
Sadly I reach a point where the bag itself must be packed, so I crawl
out again and stuff it into a double layer of trash bags, with three
desiccants, a pillow, a Thermarest, and knot it all. That goes inside
a blue nylon bag labeled “#2.” Next it’s time to put on
my caving clothes – still damp, manganesey, and stinky. While Mike
cleans up camp, the rest of us fetch water at a nearby drip
site, on the far side of the Big Duh. This is the largest room in the
cave, roughly 400 feet long by 200 feet wide and 30 feet high. We ogle
as we hike up into it. The water collector is a minor engineering feat
– a tarp collects drips, funnels them into a five gallon jug, and
when this fills a tube carries excess water into three other jugs below.
This supplies six people with water for four days on exploration trips.
At 10:15 a.m. we finally leave camp. We’ve packed the old sleeping
bags away and they’re much smaller than the new ones, so we can redistribute
our own gear. Instead of two backpacks, I now have a backpack and a convenient
side pack that I can leave on through most tight spots. Down the Stupid
Flower Climb, through the XO Survey and the Reality Check, onward through
the Volksmarch and the fantasyland near Seventh Heaven. Our conversations
grow continuously more strange and fanciful, as far from reality as possible,
centering mostly on bodily fluids. At the Bar we take a turn for the absurd:
for days Jason has joked about the dangerous combination of
MANganese with WOMANganese, that produces baby manganese. Now Seth adds,
“Yeah, the mangaKNEES are dangerous, but it’s those manganELBOWS
you really have to look out for!” We howl with laughter. Jason climbs
the Point of No Return Ladder first – brave soul – and then
Mike climbs up and wedges himself in position to take pictures while Rene
and I climb. As cavers slide head-first out of the Stopper, someone waits
to grab their packs, saving them from sliding into the pit. We all squeeze
back through the Slim Chance, and I even make it up the foothold-less
Clothesline without assistance. Back in the Mindblower we chow down –
oh, I’m getting so sick of energy bars! The Mindblower is a fun romp
up and down along a passage that runs straight east-west for several thousand
feet. It is noteworthy not only because it’s straight, but also because
it carries a good deal of air. Since Jewel only has one natural entrance,
it “breathes” a lot, seeking to equalize inside air pressure
with the barometric pressure outside. The cave’s breeze is what pulled
explorers onward, leading them out through the Miseries all the way to
Metrecal Cavern. On our way in there was little air movement, but since
this morning we’ve noticed a stiff breeze blowing in our faces, meaning
pressure was rising outside. As we scramble through the Mindblower, I’m
behind Seth and ahead of Rene. Suddenly a fresh tune pops into my blank,
delirious brain: “Guys, guess what song I just thought of!”
I cry. “’Burning Ring of Fire’?” replies Rene, since
that’s a caving standard of ours. “Nope – ‘Bitchin’
Camaro’!” Simultaneously the three of us break into a rousing
chorus of the Dead Milkmen, and get from the Mindblower nearly to Metrecal
by reliving their hysterical monologues, moving onto Mojo Nixon and They
Might Be Giants for more singalongs. Man, does that help me up the breakdown
mountains of the Wrong Number Room! At last we scramble – stumble
– up to the rest stop in Metrecal Cavern, where we contemplate the
Miseries and psych ourselves up to get as far as the Calorie Counter.
I feel like I’m moving at a
snail’s pace through the climbs and crawls up to the Funny Little
Hole; trapped in thin rubber boots, my feet ache. “Hey, who the hell
tricked us into bringing these sleeping bags all the way out?” I
say to Rene. “Yeah – we were gonna dump them
somewhere!” she agrees. But we’ve got our own gear packed away
with them, and plus, it’s better to drag it all out now than to come
back in through the Miseries for a bunch of moldy sleeping bags. As he
oozes toward the Calorie Counter, Seth attaches a pack to his foot and
drags it. He likes that technique so much that he almost does the same
with his second pack. Rene, meanwhile, counts down the crawls to the end
of the Mini-Miseries, and the breeze keeps us from even breaking a
sweat. “Thar she blows!” I cry, approaching the tiny tunnel.
I call to Mike and Seth on the far side and they pull my packs out ahead
of me, so I don’t push them with my helmet. Mike snaps a picture
as I lift my head into the Miseries.
I pop a packet of energy gel, and head towards the three pits, the Humdinger,
and the Flailing J. As we wait for its namesake to squirm through, I notice
a growing wet stain on the outside of my backpack. It can only be one
thing. “Oh no! Problem!
Not good problem!” I tear at the straps. “No problem is ever
good,” Mike remarks dryly. I haul out my full – well, almost
full – pee bottle, which has started to leak. Thankfully it’s
only come a bit unscrewed, and doesn’t have a hole in it. I pack
it
all back up and crawl onward, with just enough energy for a final joke:
“When I get out of the cave, I’m going to blow my mangaNOSE.”
“Yeah, or you’ll have to mangaSNEEZE!” quips someone else.
We decide that of all our newly invented words, womanganelbows is the
strangest combination yet. Behind me, Jason measures his energy by estimating
how many pushups he could still do. At last we arrive at the Ugh-way,
and slither out the Dugway into the Delicate Arch Room. The Miseries are
done!! …We still have a good bit of cave to go, but it gets easier,
bigger and more familiar as we near the Target Room. I follow at Mike’s
heels, ducking under him as he climbs the Diving Board, and then claw
my way up to the top of the slope where my shoes and a bottle of Gatorade
await me. By 8:30 p.m. we’re all assembled in the shadow of the elevator
– exhausted, filthy, hungry,
and elated after a GOOD CAVE TRIP. .
Last Updated August 30, 2005
e-mail jeca_interpretation@nps.gov